First of all, John has legs like a ballerina!
So this is John. And those are his legs.
That was nineteen years ago in our Grade 10 History class.
And hey now, we’re still friends!
If John were here, typing this out with me, he’d want everybody to think he spent the first seven years of his life in Australia, at which point his father was transferred to Canada, specifically Thunder Bay.
That is a lie. John was born in Thunder Bay and grew up here. One younger brother, one younger sister, and two extremely patient parents.
John was an eccentric child who grew up to be an eccentric adult. He’d be the first to tell you he’s a little bit strange. In this case, it’s a very good thing because John is great.
He loves music of all kinds and makes a yearly pilgrimage to The Winnipeg Folk Festival. He enjoys fine food and quality Scotch and Whiskeys. Sometimes he likes to torture himself by eating super duper spicy hot sauce.
Recently separated from his longtime girlfriend, John has decided to switch teams. I don’t mean he’s going to start dating dudes.
I mean he’s become a “Cat Man.”
John lives with his four cats and despite my burning desire to mock him relentlessly, one cannot deny the therapeutic companionship that felines provide.
I asked John what he does for a living (because I had no idea) and he said, “User Acceptance Tester since Feb 2017. Before that Student Services Assistant, since 2012. Super exciting.”
I’m inclined to agree! It’s a government job so you can be sure the music is always pumping and the lights are always strobing.
Hey John share a drink with me, will ya?
But by all means, please don’t look like you’re having fun!
Still not a dating service, John! Calm down!
But there you go! A funny guy and a loyal friend until the end.