Sitting and watching the snow fall from the front window, while your toddler plays beside you, is incredibly peaceful.
Out the window of my little home in Port Arthur.
I didn’t want to move here.
My heart was broken because my marriage was over and I had to leave the only home I’d ever known. The first 32 years of my life were spent within the same three block radius.
Moving away from my life-long home-base was terrifying. Big changes are usually pretty terrifying.
I have to move again and once again, I can feel that familiar feeling of terror creeping up on me.
It’s different this time though.
It’s terror and heartbreak and anger and yes, even a bit of excitement about another fresh start.
A few months ago my landlord showed up at my house with a realtor. No warning, no prior discussions about his plans. I was blindsided and devastated. I’ve been an amazing tenant. Why wouldn’t he let me know about something so important?
From November on, it’s been constant stress and worry and people coming to view my home. Each one a potential buyer, each one sending me into panic attack mode.
A funny thing happened when I moved into this new neighbourhood, this new street, this new house. I fell in love. Despite the imperfections, the reputation, the problems, I’m in love.
Someone finally bought the house and I’m heartbroken. I’ve been given a very fair amount of time in which to find a new home, but my heart still hurts.
The city bus so close, the groceries stores, the restaurants, and the businesses. The neighbours have worked their way into my hearts as has the drama unfolding in nearby apartment buildings and the bars with bad reputations.
Of course, People of Port Arthur will continue. I won’t be moving far. Hopefully. I can’t. I can’t change the kids’ school again.
The next few months will like be tough. I’ve decided to shut down my original Eating Dirt blog (probably temporarily) because even the thought of writing something over there overwhelms me; stresses me out. It’s too much.
Life is throwing curveballs left and right these days. And that’s ok. It will even out again.
Thank you for sticking around readers!